"I'm not afraid of what's out there, John." He's not. He's wanted to go out there, to get up close and personal with the Kaiju, to finally feel the inside workings of the Jaeger he'd had a personal touch in. It doesn't scare him to Drift with someone, he just doesn't think anyone can handle him. His mind is not an easy place to be in, he knows, he's there all the time.
Always running on all cylinders and top speed. Never giving him rest. He doesn't know if someone can handle that, but he wants them to. He wants John to.
"I've nothing to hide, but I have plenty to overwhelm you with, too much in fact. That is why I don't think this will work." His past, and sometimes present, is littered with drug abuse, while it's not alcohol like Harry, he's sure it will be a problem for John. Just seeing it in Sherlock's mind. Experiencing every overdose and every bad trip, going through that with him after dealing with similar things with his sister, he doubts this will end good.
"No one should want to be open with me." Beyond his charming personality everything in his mind could probably drive someone mad. Tons of abuse through his childhood, not from family mind you, though most of those outside of his immediate called him a freak, much like everyone else in his life currently, Mycroft not withstanding. Drugs were a way to try and escape his own mind, but he's sure it only locked him deeper inside it at times. He'd tried alcohol but didn't care for it, it only slowed him down, it didn't help him escape much.
He was a train wreck on the inside and he knew it, he knew from reading up on John that this was probably the worst thing possible for the other man. Yet still, his words sounding so good, so promising. He wanted to try, yet at the same time he didn't.
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Always running on all cylinders and top speed. Never giving him rest. He doesn't know if someone can handle that, but he wants them to. He wants John to.
"I've nothing to hide, but I have plenty to overwhelm you with, too much in fact. That is why I don't think this will work." His past, and sometimes present, is littered with drug abuse, while it's not alcohol like Harry, he's sure it will be a problem for John. Just seeing it in Sherlock's mind. Experiencing every overdose and every bad trip, going through that with him after dealing with similar things with his sister, he doubts this will end good.
"No one should want to be open with me." Beyond his charming personality everything in his mind could probably drive someone mad. Tons of abuse through his childhood, not from family mind you, though most of those outside of his immediate called him a freak, much like everyone else in his life currently, Mycroft not withstanding. Drugs were a way to try and escape his own mind, but he's sure it only locked him deeper inside it at times. He'd tried alcohol but didn't care for it, it only slowed him down, it didn't help him escape much.
He was a train wreck on the inside and he knew it, he knew from reading up on John that this was probably the worst thing possible for the other man. Yet still, his words sounding so good, so promising. He wanted to try, yet at the same time he didn't.